I am continuing the conversation from last week on sex and libido. Now is the time its in front of me from clients questions and thoughts so I am going to address it.
Loving our body male or female is so important. I am not going to say I don't struggle, I do. Before kids, after having kids, micro managing my body and every roll or dimple. I used to have that on my mind when in the gym, and you know what I found? As soon as I began letting that go and training because I enjoyed it, my body became better than ever with minimal effort. It was also on my mind in the bedroom even though my partner had no problem with my body. It was all me.
I began focusing on taking care of myself sexually. WOW, the hurdles you have to get through in your mind to do this. I once read a Momma Gena book in college and she talked about getting to know your vagina. YES! she had you in the book, get a mirror out and take a look. Now, why, at 20 something is that the first time I had really looked at my vagina? So many reasons, and a lot have nothing to do with our own thoughts but societies, parents etc. which then shaped our thoughts negatively.
Even with the work I did through that book I still was not in touch or would touch myself. I wasn't until about a year and a half ago that I made it a mission to get in touch with myself and my body. Learn how to pleasure myself for me. Not for someone else, not on a time table of when I was having sex, but when I was relaxed and in a place to get to know myself. It was very empowering for my confidence and for me loving my body. I felt very much in control of myself. I never let thoughts like, gross, nasty, slutty etc come into my head. Only thoughts of love and empowerment.
Being sexually confident does't mean you are going around and sleeping with just anyone. Being sexually confident means you own your body and your sexuality, male or female. You have confidence in your curves, your smile, your passion for life. This sexual energy is also very attractive to those around you ( not because they want to sleep with you) but because it is a light shining from you.
So as you do this work and as you examine your body find what you love, find what makes you powerful, unique and sexy. let go of what you want to "fix" if you are moving forward, the things that need "fixing" will begin to work out. I promise.
Remember you are powerful and you were created with a purpose. Own your power, go after your purpose and thrive. Its pretty amazing when it all comes together.